They won't come back to Jamaica Too!

They won't come back to Jamaica Too!


Date: 22 Jan 1997
From: "gjohnson(cont-oasb)"
Subject: They won't come back to Jamaica
To: "Fellow Adventurer"
Jamaica is great, but the Superclubs resort called "Breezes" in Montego Bay was not exactly what the brochures cracked it up to be. Don't expect anything like civility from the staff, cause you definitely won't get it. You can also forget getting satisfaction if your stay didn't live up to the claims in the advertising that Superclubs puts out. We have contacted them several times and they just treat us like the waiters treated us at their resort--they say "no problem!" and walk away. I guess they figure if they can ignore you long enough they won't have a problem. My wife was looking right at the waiter, asked for a refill of her drink--"no problem"--and we watched him walk away, never to return with a drink. I didn't expect to be waited on hand and foot, but I get more from a dive restaurant stateside than we got from the best restaurant at this so called resort.

That was probably the most frustrating part of our stay, and it wasn't limited to restaurant staff. Other problems included the maintenance man who insisted on starting his duties at about 7:00 am, hammering on some masonry. Everyone we knew at the breezes was incredibly annoyed by this. Add to that, the disco is on the top level of the hotel and the noise doesn't just filter down a couple of floors, the architecture almost amplifies the noise. The noise was so loud in our room (2 floors below the disco) we could have been on a soundstage. We had to move 2 times to get far enough from the noise to finally get to sleep. I know, I know, you are thinking that we don't like to party! Well, we stayed up until 12:00, 1:00, 2:00, but to no avail. The disco, as we were informed by management, stays open until 3-4:00 am every night. Then the hammering begins at 7:00 promptly! You figure it out!

Okay, the staff ignores you, the noise prevents any rest at all, what the heck are you complaining about, you are in Jamaica at an all inclusive resort, make the best of it! First day, after drinking non-stop from the bar, I figured I wasn't buzzed because I am so excited to be married and in Jamaica for the first time. Second day, I wake up with no hangover whatsoever, so I head for the beach/bar. The sun is hot, so it is REALLY easy to hit the bar for their famous hummingbird mixed drink (Rum, Tia Maria, various fruits, crushed ice, etc...). It is perfect for cooling you down and getting fruit into your system, but if you are drinking it for it's soothing alcoholic effect, you are out of luck. We always asked for the drinks to be made STRONG, we watched them put twice the rum they normally put in a drink, and that didn't help. By the fourth day of continuous (and I mean that in it's purest sense, my hand was never empty) drinking I had never experienced a hangover, pleasant relaxed state, light-headedness, NOTHING! We got together with another couple and decided to (unscientifically) test the alcohol content of the beverages. Eight beers, and 6 tequila shots (no lime or salt) in less than 1/2 hour. No slurring of speech, no problem walking a straight line, NOTHING! I can't say what you are thinking, but I was thinking that too! I wouldn't have anything to gripe about if they had billed it as an alcohol free environment, but all you can eat/drink is a big part of the money for the all-inclusive package and I want to be responsible for my own consumption, thank you!

The staff is annoying, you can't sleep to save your life, and you can't forget your problems in a tall glass of beer, so what's to complain about. Check out the other people who have had bad experiences with this resort and you will see that they found the same problems that we did. Only thing is, the Hot Tub (their favorite part of the resort) was broken when we were there!

I don't want to bore you to death, so I will summarize the rest of the problems. At the risk of doing a David Letterman TOP 10:

  1. Picture windows don't fit the hole in the wall, so there is always a crack, hence, mosquitoes in the room all the time.
  2. Lack of water pressure in the room that was far enough from the noise that we could sleep in. You either sleep or you get a shower, you choose!
  3. You call that entertainment!
  4. Water sports staff is constantly drinking. Maybe not normally a problem until they take you waterskiing. I didn't enjoy this very much, not to mention the fact that it is potentially extremely dangerous because they tried to use only a driver without a spotter (very dangerous in case you haven't water skied before).
  5. Same food, Same food, Same food, Same food, Same food, Same food, Same food. Great snapper the first or second time, but COME ON!
  6. Minimum of a two-hour check in. We came from cold weather country and were dying from heat and humidity so they let us change in some one else's room. The hotel gave us some one else's keys and let us use their room, with their belongings in the room!!! Would they give somebody else my room key too??????
  7. We had to fight for a late check out. We wanted an extra hour so we could shower after swimming in the ocean before the plane trip and they just did not want to let us have that luxury.
  8. Snack bar food was virtually inedible.
  9. Their ground transportation (supposed to be included) people hit you up (hard) for a tip before bringing you from the airport to the hotel. You could get a cab for what they ask for.
  10. Bring lots of money for drinks outside the hotel so you can have fun in Jamaica.... Good Luck!

Believe me, we tried working with the management and owners of the hotel to get satisfaction, but they blew us off. They sent us a letter with a big gold seal on it and lots of promises saying "We will get back to you shortly," this is the english translation of "No problem" and walking away, never to return. I guess this is our last ditch attempt at communicating our dissatisfaction with Superclubs. If they do make it right, we will let you all know--Stay tuned, another letter is in the mail to them now.

George Johnson


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